It's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.

I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else....I never lied better.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living.

I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.