From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key.

I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

Say Goodnight Gracie.

Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.