If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

How can I die? I'm booked.

Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.