If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale was once I had one of their padlocks.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living.

Fall in love with what you're going to do for a living. To be able to get out of bed and do what you love to do for the rest of the day is beyond words. I'd rather be a failure in something I love than be successful in something I hate.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.