I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do.

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two.

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

I get a standing ovation just standing

I like women to be attracted to me. See, when you get 60 years old, and they know you're 60, the only women you can get are 55-year-old women, and I like younger women.