Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to.

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.

I've been a straight man for so many years that from force of habit I repeat everything. I went out fishing with a fellow the other day and he fell overboard. He yelled, Help! Help! Help! so I said, Help? Help? Help? And while I was waiting for him to get his laugh, he drowned.

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

Life's but a day at most.

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.