The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides.

In what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them.

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.