Lots of people have asked me what Gracie and I did to make our marriage work. It's simple - we don't do anything. I think the trouble with a lot of people is that they work too hard at staying married. They make a business out of it. When you work too hard at a business you get tired; and when you get tired you get grouchy; and when you get grouchy you start fighting; and when you start fighting you're out of business.
George BurnsSex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George BurnsIt's better to be happy doing something you love, even if you don't find success right away.
George BurnsI must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself.
George Burns