I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.

I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do.

Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town.

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.

And God said 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.