I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked.

It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along.

Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.

Sex has been around for a long time. You may not believe this, but it was around before I was.

By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and they would swear there was no driver.

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.

Say Goodnight Gracie.