Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left
Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner.
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.