Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

Just because you're old that doesn't mean you're more forgetful. The same people whose names I can't remember now I couldn't remember fifty years ago. . .

People are always asking me how much I'm worth. Well, all I can say is, I've got enough money to last me the rest of my life. As long as I die in the next 20 minutes.

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

Tennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.