Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem.

A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.

It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink.

By [age] 93, I had shrunk quite a lot. My car was known as the Phantom Cadillac. People would see it whizzing by and they would swear there was no driver.