A married couple that plays cards together is just a fight that hasn't started yet.

I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Life's but a day at most.

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

How can I die? I'm booked.