Fall in love with what you're going to do for a living. To be able to get out of bed and do what you love to do for the rest of the day is beyond words. I'd rather be a failure in something I love than be successful in something I hate.

I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they stop laughing I take the cigar out of my mouth and start my next joke.

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old.

Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.

A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night.