You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
George BurnsThere's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.
George BurnsTennis is a young man's game. Until you're 25, you can play singles. From 25 to 35, you should play doubles. I won't tell you exactly how old I am, but when I played, there were 28 men on the court - just on my side of the net.
George BurnsSex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George Burns