Sex after 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. Even putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
George BurnsWhen asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
George BurnsIn what other business can a guy my age drink martinis, smoke cigars and sing? I think all people who retire ought to go into show business. I've been retired all my life.
George BurnsIf I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.
George BurnsDress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner.
George BurnsMy major contribution to the format was to suggest that I be able to step out of the plot and speak directly to the audience, and then be able to go right back into the action. That was an original idea of mine; I know it was because I originally stole it from Thornton Wilder's play Our Town.
George Burns