I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn’t take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys.

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch!

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

When I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.

Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles.

Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it.