If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it.
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands.
I thought to myself, 'why not write a bestseller?' In the first place, more people buy them and more people read them. You make more money and it doesn’t take any more time to write a bestseller than it does to write a book nobody buys.
It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.