I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

The happiest people I know are the ones that are still working. The saddest are the ones who are retired. Very few performers retire on their own. It's usually because no one wants them. Six years ago Sinatra announced his retirement. He's still working.

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.