Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that's down can come up.
Critics are eunuchs at a gang bang.
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laugh is a humorist.
How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything.
I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries.