When they saw me walking down the street smoking a cigar, they'd say, 'Hey, that 14-year-old kid may be going places.' Of course it's also a good prop on the stage ... When you can't think of what you're supposed to say next, you can puff on your cigar until you think of your next line.
George BurnsWhen I was in Vegas women were throwing their hotel keys at me. But it was after they checked out.
George BurnsFirst you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
George Burns