I don't worry about getting old. I'm old already. Only young people worry about getting old.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

I get a standing ovation just standing

If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again.

None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.