Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.

I was a stonehead for 30 years. I'd wake up in the morning and if I couldn't decide whether I wanted a joint or not, I'd smoke a joint to figure it out. And I stayed high all day long.

Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.

Running isn't a sport because anyone can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run, you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated do you?

Hooray for most things!

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.