When will all the rhetorical questions end?

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans.

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

It's nothing but a big stroke job in this country. The government strokes you every day of your life. Religion never stops stroking you. Big business gives you a good stroke. And it's one big, transcontinental, cross-country, red, white and blue stroke job... Do you know what the national emblem for this country ought to be? Forget that bald eagle. The national emblem of this country ought to be Uncle Sam standing naked at attention saluting, and seated on a chair next to him, the Statue of Liberty jerking him off. That would be a good symbol for the United Strokes of America.

Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya.