No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

A pear is a failed apple.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.

People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes