No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.

Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? What year did Jesus think it was?

I think we overrate ourselves in terms of our abilities and capacities. I mean, just because you can build a really swell bridge doesn't, to my way of thinking, mean that you're an advanced civilization.

A woman told me her child was autistic, and I thought she said artistic. So I said, 'Oh great. I'd like to see some of the things he's done.

Things I wonder about the FBI's list of the "Ten Most Wanted" criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, "I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list"?

I always have these little internal monologues. You'll get used to them.