Like on the airlines, they say they want to 'pre-board'. Well, what the hell is 'pre board'? What does that mean? To get on before you get on?

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

I quit school in ninth grade, even though I was good at the studies. I knew I didn't need school for what I wanted.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

Anyone who's onstage is going to attract a certain number of misguided people. But I was never very interested in groupies. Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.