Like on the airlines, they say they want to 'pre-board'. Well, what the hell is 'pre board'? What does that mean? To get on before you get on?

Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.

Tonight's forecast: DARK. Continued mostly dark tonight, turning to wildly scattered light in the morning

I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally in this country. I don't care where they hang his portrait, I don't care how big his library is. To me, he'll always be "Governor Bush." I don't even capitalize his name when I type it anymore.

What wine goes with Captain Crunch?

I don't know how you feel, but I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.

I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.