The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
George CarlinAh, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.
George CarlinOf course, in Los Angeles, everything is based on driving, even the killings. In New York, most people don't have cars, so if you want to kill a person, you have to take the subway to their house. And sometimes on the way, the train is delayed and you get impatient, so you have to kill someone on the subway. That's why there are so many subway murders; no one has a car.
George CarlinSometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
George Carlin