I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.

If everything that ever lived is dead, and everything alive is gonna die...where does the sacred part come in?

By the age of six or seven, I was already doing voices and faces, making my friends and my mother laugh.

Catholic, which I was until I reached the age of reason

I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.

At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.

You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like; generally, it's an inconvenience.