If you dropped me off a space platform onto the ground where a line was drawn, I would fall to the left side of it. I believe the difference between right and left is that the right, for the most part, the bulk of their philosophy is interested in property, and the rights of people to own property and gain and acquire and keep property. And I think on the left - though they blend and mix - on the left primarily you will find people who are more concerned about humans, and the human condition, and what can be done.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.

I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.

I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.

Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.