We are all precancerous.

The older I got, the more apparent it became that my mother was losing control over me. She fought back fiercely with black moods, silent treatments and martyrdom. And, of course, all she did was run my ass out of the house even quicker. The pressure was unbearable.

There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.

George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

If you can't say something nice about a person, go ahead