I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I would get the work done easily, and then I would try to deprive other people of their educations. I developed skills for mimicry, and I was a good showoff. I knew how to get attention, and I knew how to do it in a positive funny way.

Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here.

Why do they bother saying "raw sewage"? Do some people actually cook that stuff?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.

I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life, not life to years.