When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken word, the writing that goes into it is an art form - it's certainly artistry.

So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.

For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.

There are ten thousand people in the United States in a persistent vegetative state. Just enough to start a small town. Think of them as veggie-burghers.