Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

You know, if a drug has anything going for it at all, it should be self-limiting. It should tell you when you've had enough. Acid and peyote were that way for me.

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

I believe you can joke about anything.

I was taken to the hospital for observation. I stayed several days, didn't observe anything, and I left.

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see... 'We are the Proud Parents of a Child who has resisted his teacher's attempts to bend him to the will of his corporate masters'.