Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

If you you think there is a solution, you're part of the problem.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

More people write poetry than read it.

You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and already we've had ten major wars. We average a major war every twenty years. So we're good at it!

I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.