Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong.

When you're high, it's easy to kid yourself about how clever certain mediocre pieces of material are.

There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting!

I never take credit for anything, because it's mostly genetic to my way of thinking. Even the need to work hard with some genetic talent you're given - the need to go out and develop it, and push hard to bring it to people.

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing

The child molester skipped breakfast, but said he'd grab a little something on the way to work.