When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.

When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.

When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M.

I don't vote. We're led to believe we're free through the exercise of ineffective freedoms.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

I find that an entertainer is quite content to sit still, and I think an artist always has a little motion, always going somewhere. May not know where it is, but there is some sort of unnamed destination. There is some pulling, some movement. So I just found myself in that category according to my own analysis.

I don't consider myself a cynic. I think of myself as a skeptic and a realist. But I understand the word "cynic" has more than one meaning, and I see how I could be seen as cynical. "George, you're cynical." Well, you know, they say if you scratch a cynic you find a disappointed idealist. And perhaps the flame still flickers a little, you know?