I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

I used to be Irish Catholic. Now I'm an American - you know, you grow.

Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.

Dogs and cats get put to sleep; hogs and cows get slaughtered.

Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.