Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

Everything that you know about yourself comes from thinking back, and I think I saw religion as the first big betrayal of me.

Grass [marijuana] probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer. When you're high, it's easy to kid yourself about how clever certain mediocre pieces of material are. But, on the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.

The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

We created god in our own image and likeness!

I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.