Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.

At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.

We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

In adolescence you have to separate yourself and establish your identity. So, being very independent anyway, I took charge.

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?