Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.

Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here.