If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

Comedy is grievances. It's a recitation of grievances - whether they're inconsequential, superficial - like "my wife shops too much", or "kids today", all those old-fashioned themes - or, if it's deeper, and somewhat more thoughtful, about social imbalance and inequities, and the folly of human behavior. It's usually a complaint.

Primitive societies, or social groupings, had shamans, and some of them even more recent in time. Shamans were tricksters. There was a tradition of the trickster, and the trickster was a clown, a humorous fellow. His task was to trick the gods, to humor the gods into laughing, so that there was access to the divine - because laughter is a moment when we are completely ourselves.