Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

We now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.

I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to "God" are all answered at about the same 50% rate.

The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!