A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.

A lot of times when they catch a guy who killed twenty-seven people, they say, He was a loner. Well, of course he was a loner; he killed everyone he came in contact with.

Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.

Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all incentive because we've given them too much money.

When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

The Christians are coming to get you, and they are not pleasant people.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?