I'm not in show business because I don't have to go to the meetings, I'm just not a part of it, I don't belong to it. When you "belong" to something. You want to think about that word, "belong." People should think about that: it means they own you. If you belong to something it owns you, and I just don't care for that. I like spinning out here like one of those subatomic particles that they can't quite pin down.
George CarlinI finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.
George CarlinTo me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesn't need guidance from.
George CarlinPeople say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George CarlinThings I wonder about the FBI's list of the "Ten Most Wanted" criminals: When they catch a guy and he comes off the list, does number eleven automatically move up? And does he see it as a promotion? Does he call his criminal friends and say, "I made it, Bruno. I'm finally on the list"?
George Carlin