I'm not in show business because I don't have to go to the meetings, I'm just not a part of it, I don't belong to it. When you "belong" to something. You want to think about that word, "belong." People should think about that: it means they own you. If you belong to something it owns you, and I just don't care for that. I like spinning out here like one of those subatomic particles that they can't quite pin down.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.

Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists."