None of the Christian religions do [interest me]. They're all outer-directed.

People who own everything know how to relax a little and bend and exhale once in a while, but they're not going to let it get out of control.

No one is more himself than the moment when he's laughing at a joke. It's at those moments that people's defenses go down, and that's when you can slip in a good idea.

An entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself. An artist is on a journey: they don't know where they're going, what is going to happen, but they know they are not there yet, and there is some continuity and growth. I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.

My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.