The habits of liberals, their automatic language, their knee-jerk responses to certain issues, deserved the epithets the right wing stuck them with. I'd see how true they often were. Here they were, banding together in packs, so I could predict what they were going to say about some event or conflict and it wasn't even out of their mouths yet. I was very uncomfortable with that. Liberal orthodoxy was as repugnant to me as conservative orthodoxy.

I wanted to get a job as a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening.

In restaurants where they serve frog's legs, what do they do with the rest of the frog? Do they just throw it away? You never see "frog torsos" on the menu. Is there actually a garbage can full of frog bodies in the alley? I wouldn't want to be a homeless guy looking for an unfinished cheeseburger and open the lid on that

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

The only thing high-definition television will do is provide sharper images of the garbage.