My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.

The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.

A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it's not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street.

The ending of my experience with cocaine came in a periodic way. I would get high less frequently, I would use smaller amounts, and I would do coke for less periods of time. And that process just kept increasing and increasing until I wasn't using it at all. I didn't go on a program anywhere. I didn't join an organization or detox anywhere. I just slowly tapered off until it was gone. That was also true of my heavy pot use. I just tapered off until there was almost no use at all. And the same thing was true of drinking tons of beer.

Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.

When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber.

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.