Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!

Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?

Children are not our future, and I can prove it with my usual, flawless logic. Children can't be our future, because by the time the future arrives, they won't be children anymore, so blow me!

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.

They say that instead of cursing the darkness, one should light a candle. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.

Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.