Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways? Just to be silly!

An art thief is a man who takes pictures.

My left descending septal branch artery decided to close without consultation with any of my other organs. It happened on Saint Patrick's Day, 1978.

Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

When you're high, it's easy to kid yourself about how clever certain mediocre pieces of material are.