I was never a pipe or bong man. That's California stuff. I was an Eastern roller.

If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else.

Some people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie. Tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people.

Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body

Jesus was a cross-dresser.

I don't really identify with America, I don't really feel like an American or part of the American experience, and I don't really feel like a member of the human race, to tell you the truth. I know I am, but I really don't. All the definitions are there, but I don't really feel a part of it. I think I have found a detached point of view, an ideal emotional detachment from the American experience and culture and the human experience and culture and human choices.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.