I was never a pipe or bong man. That's California stuff. I was an Eastern roller.

Praying is begging for an unseen deity to alter the laws of nature for someone admittedly unworthy.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.

Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Instead of thinking about the sex, I'd always think about the clap and the crabs those people have.