I was never a pipe or bong man. That's California stuff. I was an Eastern roller.

Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.

Because Brenda [Carlin] had a drinking problem along with the coke, she had to hit bottom first. Most alcoholics do. And for her, bottom was an automobile accident that almost landed her in jail.

I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

You live eighty years, and at best you get about six minutes of pure magic.

The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.