There are a lot of little things about our bodies that we all know, but we never talk about. That's what interests me. These are practically universal experiences; nobody mentions them! Some of them are disgusting. Some of them are appallingly revolting and degrading even to the most degenerate mind. So let's get started with a couple of them.

The Muslims observe their Sabbath on Friday, the Jews observe on Saturday, and the Christians on Sunday. By the time Monday rolls around God is completely f***in' worn out.

That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

Life is tough, then you die.

If honesty were suddenly introduced into American life, the whole system would collapse.

Boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.