Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.

If God created everything, he's got a serious quality control problem.

If I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

So far, this is the oldest I've been.

I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.

Cocaine was different. It kept saying, "You haven't had enough." I became an abuser almost instantly.