I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

Besides the drugs and counterculture, I started talking about myself, which is the first thing you do when you are a writer.

I gravitated toward being a funny guy. I liked the radio comedians. I lived in the Golden Age of radio, and the Golden Age of television came along when I was still in my early teens.

One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.

My tombstone? I'm thinking something along the lines of, 'Geez, he was just here a minute ago.'

I had run away from home three times. I had been kicked out of three different schools under different circumstances. I was kicked out of everything that I didn't quit. Kicked out of schools. Kicked out of summer camp, the Boy Scouts, the altar boys, the choir, and something else that I can't think of, that I'm proud of. Anyway, that was my pattern. I just began to invent myself early in life, and went out and did something about it.

The coke made me incredibly horny.