I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.

Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

Cocaine was different. It kept saying, "You haven't had enough." I became an abuser almost instantly.

On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.

And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste.

You know who would make an interesting murder-suicide? Madeline Albright and Yanni.