I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan administration.
George CarlinIf you want to get rid of counterfeit money, put it in the collection plate at church.
George CarlinI believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.
George CarlinThe dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.
George Carlin