It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.

There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.

Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.

Whereas your blackness, ethnicity, homosexuality is something that might be genetic, I can't touch that, and I have no right.

A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.

Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?

Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.