Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone?

Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and already we've had ten major wars. We average a major war every twenty years. So we're good at it!

Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies... without an oven.

If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely?

It's never just a game when you're winning.