Dogs and cats get put to sleep; hogs and cows get slaughtered.

Humor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

I saw Danny Kaye in a movie, and he was doing voices and faces on that big, big screen and making whole audiences laugh. It was just an instant hookup.

And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

If you live long enough, sooner or later everybody you know has cancer.