Dogs and cats get put to sleep; hogs and cows get slaughtered.

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.

If a painting can be forged well enough to fool experts, why is the original so valuable?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal.

Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name.