What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.

I think there's a little more attention to human needs than to property rights. But I don't think much of political activism. It's so shortsighted. Most people are interested in their own personal comfort. I've said that about environmentalists. I think they care about bike paths and places to park their Volvos, not the planet as an abstraction.

When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat.

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.

That's the whole meaning of life, isn't it? Trying to find a place for your stuff.

The Golden Gate Bridge should have a long bungee cord for people who aren't quite ready to commit suicide but want to get in a little practice.