Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.
George CarlinI've just completed a five-year period that can perhaps best be called a breathing spell. A time of getting my health back and gathering my strength. That time also included incredible cocaine abuse, a heart attack and my wife's recovery from both alcoholism and cocaine abuse.
George CarlinWeather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.
George CarlinI think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
George CarlinIt ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day, or only a few hours, instead of four or five days. And I began to want to stop. One of the proudest moments of my life was at a rock-'n'-roll theater in New Jersey. A guy actually put some coke under my nose and I was able to say, "No, thanks," and turn my head away.
George Carlin