Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.

Life is tough, then you die.

People get all upset about torture, but when you get right down to it, it's really a pretty good way of finding out something a person doesn't want you to know.

There may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.

Children should be taught to question everything . . . everything they read and everything they hear.

A pear is a failed apple.